There are some things I’d like you to know; some things I’d like to promise you. First, you know you’re not going to be my first husband, but you will be the last. I will not marry you unless I am absolutely sure we can make it work. So many people give up on their marriages and end it with a few sheets of paper instead of trying to fix things. You know I’m not one of them. You’ve heard the story- you know I put up with and tried everything I could before I left. While that was hard at the time, I’m so glad I put myself first and got out and eventually found you. You make me feel more loved than anyone ever has. Every day we wake up and commit to being the best person for each other and that feels like a pretty solid foundation.
We’ve seen some aspects of our friends’ relationships and have said to each other, “If you EVER act like/say/do that…” knowing we really don’t have to worry about the other behaving in that manner and being thankful for that. Sure, we’ve had our fights. Some stupid, some not, some that might have been a bit of an overreaction to the offense BUT we resolve, we apologize (and mean it), we talk it out calmly and take feelings and logic into consideration and usually all before bed that same night. We don’t do things to spite each other or test the waters to see what we can get away with or prove to our friends who “wears the pants”. I really appreciate that about us but I wanted to outline some things we’ve seen that I promise I will not do.
*I will never demand you give me money. – If I need to borrow some, I’ll have a damn good reason for needing it and I will ask you in private. You work hard for your money and you are responsible with it. I should never have a reason to demand it.
*I will never ask you to pay me to raise our kids. –If we are fortunate enough to make enough to live on with your income, that is wonderful. I think you know I’d feel a little bad not contributing, but kids make things different and if I were staying home with them I would never ever ask you (after paying all of our living expenses) to hand me a paycheck for my own spending.
*I will never disrespect you, especially in front of people. – Never will you hear, “She treats you like shit…”
*I will never speak for you. –When asked if we’d like to do something/go somewhere, etc. I will discuss it with you, rather than answering for you based on what I alone feel.
*I will never put you on a leash, keep your balls in a jar, etc.—You are a MAN and I’ll let you be one because you are a good man who is responsible for his own choices and is aware of what results (good or bad) will come of those.
*I will never use a baby as a bargaining chip. –I feel this one doesn’t need much explaining- I know you’ll be responsible for the child and a great father.
All of these things have come from what we’ve witnessed from being around other couples and are just a few things I will not do.
On the opposite end, there are a few things I feel we don’t see enough of in modern relationships and I’d like to fill you in on a few examples of those that I will do.
*I will communicate with you about everything to the best of my ability and in the most effective manner.
*I will do the little things. –Love notes, things you don’t ask me to do (make you lunch, sweep snow and scrape windows on your car, have clean, fresh clothes waiting for you when you get out of the shower, etc.) Little things are pretty huge.
*I will make you feel loved and appreciated. – I will not take the little or big things you do for me for granted and I will tell you how beautiful you are and that I love you multiple times a day- not just with the three words, but you’ll know it and feel it.
*I will support you. –If you have something you truly believe in or aspire to do, I will do what I can to back you up and make it happen.
*I will be faithful. – I don’t even want a celebrity “OK to go after if you get the chance” list because I am yours and sharing my body with anyone else no matter how famous or pretty wouldn’t mean a thing compared to the closeness and love I feel when I’m with you.
*I will always keep trying. –As we age and go through milestones and bumps, I will never quit trying to keep our love alive and keep it a blessing rather than an obligation. After all, love does conquer everything, right? I will also keep trying to impress you- dressing up when we go out and trying to take care of myself.
*I will take an interest in your hobbies. – I will try to understand what it is you’re interested in and have conversations with you about your hobbies and even partake if I can. I might find some I don’t like, but I will always try and will always take an interest.
People will notice us and will say how great we are for each other and how lucky we are. Even some of our “romantic skeptic” friends will say we have “a non-dysfunctional” relationship. Hopefully we can rub off on some people who really need to work on the foundation of their relationships. My dear future husband, I’m so excited to see where life takes us and I’m so happy I’ll have you by my side. Know that I’ll be “loving you like a fox loves catching and eating gingerbread men” the whole journey.
your future wife 😉