When I Get Where I’m Going

People don’t like to talk about death, especially their own. It sucks but everyone is going to die. Even me. I feel like not a lot of people truly acknowledge that fact until they are much older, but you run the risk of “meeting your maker” any second of any day from the second you are created. Why wait until you are wrinkled and grey to get some simple things ready? I’m not saying start looking forward to it by any means- it sucks, remember. All I mean is give people an idea of what you want after your last breath.

It might seem odd to some, but I have an idea of how I want things to go for me assuming it’s within the next five years or so (you have to keep these things current and update every so often- I’m hoping to live much longer than 5 years and have to keep updating my final wishes many many times). I’m hoping to make it as easy as possible on the people I leave behind so here goes.

Donate my body to science. Let people use it as a tool to learn how to save lives. When they’re done with it, cremate away. I hate bugs and rotting things; I don’t want to be one. Plus, I’m claustrophobic. Also, what if you (*I’ll be using ‘you’ as though I’m talking to the people who will be dealing with this stuff- if you didn’t catch on 🙂 *) put me in a cemetary and then move away? I’d be by myself and you know I’d hate that! And! Where would you bury me- my  home state of S. Dakota? or the place that feels like and I call home now in Colorado? I know which has the better view!

With my ashes, do as you please. Divide me up amongst those closest to me and put me in little containers on your mantle. Or make me into a necklace pendant (yep they do that!) or put me in a diamond (you can do that too, but I can’t imagine it’ll score high in the clarity category). Spread me over the ocean or a lake (though you know I’m a terrible swimmer who was always scared of drowning, right?), in a garden so I can help grow new life, on top of a mountain, or maybe the place that holds your favorite memory with me. The choice is yours.

As for the service. I’d say “celebrate my life rather than mourn my death” but I know you guys are emotional (one of the things I love about you!) and it’ll be a grim affair. Here’s what I want. A church if you must, but you know I’m not really sure where I stand on that so if it’s possible I’d prefer somewhere outdoors. You can do one service in SD and one in CO if that’s easier- I’m also fine with that. For music I like these songs (in no order- you pick and choose):
Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata
-Either Leona Lewis OR Snow Patrol‘s version- Run (though Leona’s gives me goosebumps EVERY time- seriously, check it out and tell me it’s not amazing)
Apocalyptica- Farewell
Brad Paisley- When I Get Where I’m Going
-Seismic Event (this one might be hard to find since they were a local Denver band over a year ago)- Dragonflies
-I also like that Eagle’s Wings song that is found in church hymnals

I’d like to keep the service simple. I want people to hang up pictures of various points in my life or do one of those picture slideshows. I feel it helps bring back good, fun memories. For readings I’ll do Psalm 23 because I like it and my family, who is more sure of their spirituality than I currently am, will appreciate it.  I also found a nice poem by David Harkins called She (He) is Gone.  It goes as follows:
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind. Be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.

Isn’t that sweet?! And so true. If (knock on wood, and anything else to avoid jinx) my time should come while I’m young, I would want my boyfriend to find a new lady and try to be happy again. (Only after he is ready and a reasonable amount of time has passed)

Finally, for my belongings, do what you will but don’t keep everything. Split things up amongst you. Main “dibs” go to the boy, my parents, and brother. Donate or garage sale what you don’t want. If I have any kids, save some things for them when they’re older and tell them I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be around longer.

What an awful subject to think/write about but I’m a realist. I’ve seen too many people go before their time, and surely before they even thought to plan things. If I can make planning easier on the people left here after me, and know that I’ll be going out in a way that I choose, then so be it.   Here’s to something a little lighter for my next post.

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About dawn of april

Figuring life and the "about me" out as I go :) In a nutshell: I work, go to school, run a women's book club, support the local music scene in Denver, and whatever else floats my boat at the time.
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3 Responses to When I Get Where I’m Going

  1. I think you’re on to something in regards to people getting their affairs in order.
    To be writing on such a topic and yet doing so comfortably shows a great confidence and acceptance in life.
    I enjoyed reading this. 🙂

  2. I think it’s a great idea to be prepared for that day. Not only does it make death less scary for you, it makes it easier for those around you to cope. I’d like to do something funny at my funeral, like have a Karoake contest where all my friends and family try to choose the best song to honor me. It’s kind of the last joke I’ll ever be able to make, I suppose. Also, I think you should have your ashes sprinkled in the ocean anyway…if you can’t face your fear of drowning after your dead, you’ll never be able to. You might as well take advantage. But hopefully, that day won’t come for quite some time.

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