What Happens When Mom and Dad Leave…

To all of my (likely 3 or 4) readers, I’ve been quite busy as of late and haven’t had time to write anything; this makes me sad. However, I was going to attempt today but when I opened my Word document,  I noticed my dog had typed something up—I’ll share that with you and then I’m off the hook I guess. I’m a little surprised to find out she knows my computer password…and can type and think in (somewhat) intelligent manner. I welcome my surprise guest poster, Yuna- the german shepherd/husky mix:

I’m mad this week. Mom and dad are gone all day most days. Most nights at least one of them is home in the evening to play with me and Fia (the dumb one). And pet me. And take me to the mailbox so I can sniff around for bunnies and squirrels. One day I’m going to get one. I’m not going to share it with Fia. This week they’ve been gone more. One night they went out for a bit and came back smelling like raw fish and seaweed. Dad was gone two nights. It’s the same two nights. He takes the black case with him. I’m glad. The thing inside with the strings makes really loud noises when he plugs it into the big black box. I want to eat it so there will be no more noise. It’s the strings that make all the noise.

“The black case”

Today was the last straw. They called this one “Fry day” when they left this morning. Not sure what that means, but it sounds tasty. Maybe they’ll bring home a fried treat. That’s what I thought. All day I was excited. They came home at the usual time. Not sure what they do all day but mom smells like mini humans when she gets back. She didn’t bring anything fried. Neither did dad. We went out to go potty and then had dinner. We didn’t get a lot of playtime after. Mom was in the room with the big white water bowl. She was spraying lots of smells and brushing the fur on top of her head. And listening to loud music. I knew she was going to leave again. I went downstairs and dad was taking stuff out of the house.  He had the black case. THEY WERE BOTH LEAVING!

I wanted to show them that I was mad about this. I didn’t know how to do that. I gave sad eyes. Tried to follow them out the door. But they just walked out. I ran upstairs to the window and watched them drive away. I paced around, chewed my bone. I found a crumb by the table. Fia saw me eat it. Sometimes I wish she wasn’t in a kennel when mom and dad were gone so we could play. Sometimes, when I find crumbs mostly, I’m glad she is. It was by the table that I smelled the soup. One of those cardboard-ish containers that they fill with water and then put in the small box that spins food around until it’s ready for them to eat. I could smell the seasoning; miso. Not my favorite. Noodles might be tasty though.

….This is the one.

Before I knew what was happening I found myself laying in front of Fia’s kennel with pieces of the soup container around me. I left the packet of seasonings but the noodles and most of the container had disappeared. I decided I would eat the rest of the container later, not sure what I was going to do with the seasoning packet, maybe I’d give that to Fia since I didn’t like it anyways. I wanted to investigate what else was on the table. That’s when I saw them. The strings that dad put on the thing that is inside the black case. I think they call it a “get tar”. There’s a whole pile of strings on the table. Still in their paper packaging. They are the things that make all of the noise. It hurts my ears when he plugs it into the big black box. I have sensitive ears. I don’t like the vacuum either. Maybe if I could just hide the strings he wouldn’t be able to make any more loud noise. But where.

I sniff around the house but I can’t find a hiding spot where he won’t ever find it. And then it hits me. Maybe I should eat them. He won’t find them in my belly. He’ll just think he lost them. There are five packages. I’ve never tried strings before. They don’t smell good but I can’t think of any other way to be sure they will be gone. First I tear up the paper- I don’t mind paper. Doesn’t taste like anything really. Kind of hard to chew and swallow. The strings are a whole other story. I could only eat two. Now I’m not sure what to do. They could be home at any time. I need a nap to think. Maybe after some digesting I’ll be able to eat more or come up with a better plan. Oh NO! I hear the gate. They’re home. I’m in so much trouble. Now I wish Fia wasn’t in a kennel so I could pass the blame to her. Better get my sad eyes, ears, and tail ready….

“I’m sorry??”

The evidence.

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About dawn of april

Figuring life and the "about me" out as I go :) In a nutshell: I work, go to school, run a women's book club, support the local music scene in Denver, and whatever else floats my boat at the time.
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3 Responses to What Happens When Mom and Dad Leave…

  1. hahaha this is hilarious!! gotta love your dogs!

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