I’m a Terrible “Girl”

I’m a terrible girl. I say this as I’m smoking a cigar out on my patio, of course the cigar is in addition to my drink…but that’s pretty girly so we won’t mention the drink. Spare camping this past weekend, I haven’t had a cigar in 5 years. I actually took a picture of myself camping and sent it to my dad saying “Smoking a cigar, drinking a beer, listening to Skynyrd and watching the sunset over the mountains” He didn’t respond, but I feel like he was proud. I’ve always kind of felt like I should have been the boy in the family and maybe my brother should have been the girl (I’m glad it wasn’t that way, for the record).

First, notice the terrible haircut- then notice how I’m not at all grossed out by the slimy fish…also- I probably dressed myself.

Growing up, I liked to play cars- race track, demolition derby, inventory/organize them, etc.  My brother wanted to play house or with stuffed animals (only until about 7 though- I’ll give him some credit). While he was off playing baseball, I was in the shop being the tool girl for my dad. I feel like there’s not a lot of 9 year old girls know their way around a toolbox. I always thought it was cool that we could see an older car driving down the streets and my dad would know what it was—year (approximate) and everything. Now, I can do that; I’m not as good guessing the years on the older cars but most I can get within 5 years and I can at least tell you the make and model – new cars are significantly easier. I can change my oil, brakes, starter, tire without a lot of assistance- and the assistance I need is usually just stronger muscles than I have. I’ve personally had 8 cars in my 10 years of driving and I’ve co-owned/paid for 6 Mustangs and a motorcycle. (Happy to say Jeffery the jeep has been my only vehicle for nearly 2 years) Half of those (probably more if I really thought about it) were manual transmissions- try to put your lipstick on, text, and shift ladies.

There’s little me in that truck- happy as can be

I rarely do my hair. Unless there’s some special occasion, I just get out of the shower, brush it, and go. If I do “style” it- it’s no more than running the straightener through it, throwing a cute headband in, or clipping half of it up- nothing a 4th grade girl couldn’t do. Speaking of 4th grade- my 4thgrade pictures were TERRIBLE because I did my own hair. I can’t say there was much choice in the matter- my mom worked nights so by the time she got home from work it was time to go to school so I had to handle getting ready myself, which meant picking out my clothes and doing my hair. A few years later- I figured out how to do my own makeup- not as big of a train wreck as my hair, but even still I don’t do a lot along the lines of makeup.

This was the person in charge of teaching me hair and makeup…my mother…bless her heart.

I hate shopping. Online or otherwise. The thought of having to try on clothes really does not appeal to me; I’ve mentioned once before (see this post titled BOOBIES) that I’m not a fan of my top half. I’m also not a fan of my bottom half since that is where my oh-so-short legs are. Don’t get me wrong here- my calves are my favorite part of my body but jeans don’t fit right since I have short legs and no ass. The only thing I like- shoes- I have cute little feet, why wouldn’t I. Love me some shoes. That being said, I still feel like I have an inadequate amount for a 20-something girl.

I’ve never had a manicure. Or a pedicure. It’s true. All of my chick friends (which pale in comparison to the number of guy friends) talk about going to get manicures with their sister/mom/other friends/etc. and I think it’s silly! Kind of. Sure, they can do some cute little designs and it’s probably nice to just sit there and relax but why should I pay someone to do something I can do myself?! Albeit mine don’t come out quite as pretty- I realize I can’t do designs and need to stick to solid colors- fine by me.

I don’t do drama. “Impossible!” you say. It’s true- there have been circumstances where I really should have been a girl and went all crazy/dramatic, but I hate that. Instead, I like to take the rational way of things and really think about them before I react so things can stay mellow and nobody has to yell. I definitely get into disagreements, but they’re peaceful disagreements, so to say. I’m also a fun drunk- I don’t get emotional, cry, vomit (rarely but I always make it to a private place), stumble, try to fight, become a slut. I like to laugh and make people laugh. I can’t name one girl who I’ve been drunk with that doesn’t do/become one of those things- but I can name a handful of guys.

I don’t watch a lot of chick flicks. A guy I dated made me watch the Notebook, otherwise I might not have ever seen that. I like funny stuff that’s probably offensive- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Tosh.0, etc. and action/blood and guts things- Breaking Bad, House, Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, etc. However! I do watch Grey’s, Private Practice, and I loved the hell out of Friends. I also like some wine…only the really sweet white wines (I did mention I drink like a girl most of the time). So I could easily have a Grey’s/wine party.

I really am a girl- just not by typical standards- I will wear dresses, heels, and jewelry on occasion, I will always have my nails painted, I do depend on my boyfriend to do man things, I like to snuggle, I got teary-eyed when my favorite character on Grey’s died. I’m not a tomboy, I’m just not super girly. Part of me thinks I’d like to be more girly but it really sounds like a headache. Any tips on simple things I can do??

Oh yeah- I’VE NEVER READ 50 SHADES OF GREY OR TWILIGHT!!!!!……wait for it…… and…as much as I like to read…I’ll never read EITHER!…  But I’m still awesome!

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About dawn of april

Figuring life and the "about me" out as I go :) In a nutshell: I work, go to school, run a women's book club, support the local music scene in Denver, and whatever else floats my boat at the time.
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6 Responses to I’m a Terrible “Girl”

  1. Sounds fine to me…But Hey I am a Doughnut…Just be you and things will Always work out for you…least that’s what I was told years ago by someone with Letters behind their name..

  2. diannegray says:

    Great pics! I’ve never read those books either and I’m awesome as well 🙂

  3. RFL says:

    You sound like an awesome girl to me! Loved your pics.

    • Thank you! I had some others in mind- unfortunately they were on my external which wasn’t with me…I am glad those work-even in a pinch I have proof of being a “terrible girl”

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