I’m a terrible girl. I say this as I’m smoking a cigar out on my patio, of course the cigar is in addition to my drink…but that’s pretty girly so we won’t mention the drink. Spare camping this past weekend, I haven’t had a cigar in 5 years. I actually took a picture of myself camping and sent it to my dad saying “Smoking a cigar, drinking a beer, listening to Skynyrd and watching the sunset over the mountains” He didn’t respond, but I feel like he was proud. I’ve always kind of felt like I should have been the boy in the family and maybe my brother should have been the girl (I’m glad it wasn’t that way, for the record).
Growing up, I liked to play cars- race track, demolition derby, inventory/organize them, etc. My brother wanted to play house or with stuffed animals (only until about 7 though- I’ll give him some credit). While he was off playing baseball, I was in the shop being the tool girl for my dad. I feel like there’s not a lot of 9 year old girls know their way around a toolbox. I always thought it was cool that we could see an older car driving down the streets and my dad would know what it was—year (approximate) and everything. Now, I can do that; I’m not as good guessing the years on the older cars but most I can get within 5 years and I can at least tell you the make and model – new cars are significantly easier. I can change my oil, brakes, starter, tire without a lot of assistance- and the assistance I need is usually just stronger muscles than I have. I’ve personally had 8 cars in my 10 years of driving and I’ve co-owned/paid for 6 Mustangs and a motorcycle. (Happy to say Jeffery the jeep has been my only vehicle for nearly 2 years) Half of those (probably more if I really thought about it) were manual transmissions- try to put your lipstick on, text, and shift ladies.
I rarely do my hair. Unless there’s some special occasion, I just get out of the shower, brush it, and go. If I do “style” it- it’s no more than running the straightener through it, throwing a cute headband in, or clipping half of it up- nothing a 4th grade girl couldn’t do. Speaking of 4th grade- my 4thgrade pictures were TERRIBLE because I did my own hair. I can’t say there was much choice in the matter- my mom worked nights so by the time she got home from work it was time to go to school so I had to handle getting ready myself, which meant picking out my clothes and doing my hair. A few years later- I figured out how to do my own makeup- not as big of a train wreck as my hair, but even still I don’t do a lot along the lines of makeup.
I hate shopping. Online or otherwise. The thought of having to try on clothes really does not appeal to me; I’ve mentioned once before (see this post titled BOOBIES) that I’m not a fan of my top half. I’m also not a fan of my bottom half since that is where my oh-so-short legs are. Don’t get me wrong here- my calves are my favorite part of my body but jeans don’t fit right since I have short legs and no ass. The only thing I like- shoes- I have cute little feet, why wouldn’t I. Love me some shoes. That being said, I still feel like I have an inadequate amount for a 20-something girl.
I’ve never had a manicure. Or a pedicure. It’s true. All of my chick friends (which pale in comparison to the number of guy friends) talk about going to get manicures with their sister/mom/other friends/etc. and I think it’s silly! Kind of. Sure, they can do some cute little designs and it’s probably nice to just sit there and relax but why should I pay someone to do something I can do myself?! Albeit mine don’t come out quite as pretty- I realize I can’t do designs and need to stick to solid colors- fine by me.
I don’t do drama. “Impossible!” you say. It’s true- there have been circumstances where I really should have been a girl and went all crazy/dramatic, but I hate that. Instead, I like to take the rational way of things and really think about them before I react so things can stay mellow and nobody has to yell. I definitely get into disagreements, but they’re peaceful disagreements, so to say. I’m also a fun drunk- I don’t get emotional, cry, vomit (rarely but I always make it to a private place), stumble, try to fight, become a slut. I like to laugh and make people laugh. I can’t name one girl who I’ve been drunk with that doesn’t do/become one of those things- but I can name a handful of guys.
I don’t watch a lot of chick flicks. A guy I dated made me watch the Notebook, otherwise I might not have ever seen that. I like funny stuff that’s probably offensive- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Tosh.0, etc. and action/blood and guts things- Breaking Bad, House, Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, etc. However! I do watch Grey’s, Private Practice, and I loved the hell out of Friends. I also like some wine…only the really sweet white wines (I did mention I drink like a girl most of the time). So I could easily have a Grey’s/wine party.
I really am a girl- just not by typical standards- I will wear dresses, heels, and jewelry on occasion, I will always have my nails painted, I do depend on my boyfriend to do man things, I like to snuggle, I got teary-eyed when my favorite character on Grey’s died. I’m not a tomboy, I’m just not super girly. Part of me thinks I’d like to be more girly but it really sounds like a headache. Any tips on simple things I can do??
Oh yeah- I’VE NEVER READ 50 SHADES OF GREY OR TWILIGHT!!!!!……wait for it…… and…as much as I like to read…I’ll never read EITHER!… But I’m still awesome!